tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-265511791146423221.post2301614223780035653..comments2023-10-28T02:59:37.028-07:00Comments on E m e r g i n g ...Q u a k e r i s m ..L i t e r a t u r e ..R e l i g i o n ... L i f e: Habits and Quaker HospitalityDianehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12396312339372162866noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-265511791146423221.post-89910153523175467452010-05-25T04:42:45.037-07:002010-05-25T04:42:45.037-07:00I do think we've put up high boundaries to mai...I do think we've put up high boundaries to maintain some control over our busy lives ... I keep thinking of my immigrant relatives, who by necessity (tiny, often substandard apartments) who met friends in public places--restaurants and the church basement to be precise--because they really couldn't entertain. While it misses the intimacy of a home, using public spaces more, especially those that are child friendly, could be part of the answer.Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12396312339372162866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-265511791146423221.post-12577686024481325902010-05-24T09:45:19.150-07:002010-05-24T09:45:19.150-07:00I agree that Mia's point is important. My own...I agree that Mia's point is important. My own ability to grow in hospitality has had much to do with being a mother and having too little time and too much work. It has to do with social class, economic status, and of course, gender. Women are still carrying the weight of responsibility for domestic labor. When we are too overwhelmed to "do it all and have it all" then we have guilt and we fear judgment. <br /><br />The nineteenth-century Friends I mention were just at the beginning stages of wrestling with gender. How have Friends addressed the real-life expectations still placed on women, especially mothers? I am reminded strongly of my mother's commentary on Luke 10: 38-42 in which Martha says to Jesus, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?" and to which Jesus responded that Mary, who had chosen to sit and listen to him preach "had chosen the good portion." Mom always said, "Well, if Jesus and the disciples got up and helped Martha with the work, then everyone, including Martha, could have sat together."Hysteryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02044678910937934731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-265511791146423221.post-43951237695976383172010-05-21T14:14:32.367-07:002010-05-21T14:14:32.367-07:00Mia,
And I resonate with what you say. When I was...Mia,<br /><br />And I resonate with what you say. When I was working and had young kids, I felt as if my house was chaos all the time. I felt that guests equalled judgment. I don't know what the answer is, because telling someone they shouldn't have those feelings--which people would tell me--doesn't really help. You have the feelings you have. I can only say that since I've been there, I know what it is, and I would not judge you, but that doesn't solve the fundamental issue, which is feeling comfortable about opening our homes. I suppose we could all hold that up to the light.Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12396312339372162866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-265511791146423221.post-32224598389900852722010-05-21T14:08:50.887-07:002010-05-21T14:08:50.887-07:00Hystery,
Thanks for this conversation. Tea sounds...Hystery,<br /><br />Thanks for this conversation. Tea sounds good!Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12396312339372162866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-265511791146423221.post-9479104984125350192010-05-21T08:13:54.650-07:002010-05-21T08:13:54.650-07:00What I'm resonating with right now regarding s...What I'm resonating with right now regarding simple hospitality is being able to let go of my own expectations about the state of my living space at any given moment. And while maybe this SHOULD be easy for me in theory, the reality is, as a full-time work outside the home mother of two young children, most of the time, my house feels like a place that is not honoring guests--it's not even honoring us, let alone someone from outside our family. But I'm trying to take small steps in this regard, and be kinder to myself. This is less about lowering my standards (frankly, these days I feel like I can't even find my standards), and more about changing how I look at my house, and the roles that are required for taking care of it. <br /><br />Sorry to go on at such length, but evidently, this post hit something in me that I wasn't totally aware I was struggling with. So thank you.<br /><br />MiaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-265511791146423221.post-54844773624179222492010-05-20T09:18:30.843-07:002010-05-20T09:18:30.843-07:00I love this post and could offer comments all day....I love this post and could offer comments all day. This is one of those times that I really wish I could sit in a room with you with a cup of tea. <br /><br />In reading the history of nineteenth century human rights activists, many of whom were Friends, I find that the glue that held the Movement together was hospitality. Amy and Isaac Post's home was open to everyone- politician and prostitute, freedom seeker and heretical public speaker alike. It didn't matter. Everyone was safe there. Gerrit Smith (Elizabeth Cady Stanton's cousin)and his wife, Ann, made their home more welcoming to the diverse group of people who came to them by keeping their furnishings simple so nobody felt the sting of inequality. William Lloyd Garrison's family was well-known for their hospitality as were Stanton and Mott.<br /><br />Simple food and simple furnishing are one step. Another step is one my very hospitable parents taught me: Regardless of connections or station treat every human being in your home or presence as though they are the most important person in the world...because they are.Hysteryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02044678910937934731noreply@blogger.com